Like so many of us, as a child I was taught to mind my manners. We called them P’s and Q’s, and to this day I still use them. I cover my mouth when I sneeze or yawn, try not to interrupt others when they are talking, hold the door open for the people, and say thank you.
But I have to admit it: I have a problem being nice.
The problem is that I sometimes feel like I’m the only one making an effort. People seem to get ruder and more self involved, and I somehow got it in my head that I should be a one-woman vigilante for manners. In doing so, I became blunt, forthright, and even rude to people who were rude to me. And when it occurred to me how contrary to my original intentions my behavior had become, I was embarrassed, to say the least. So, instead, I have tried to apply Gandhi’s philosophy: “Be the change you wish to see in the world.”
It’s difficult, but I try. Especially lately. Having made a commitment to myself to slow down and stop rushing through every moment, I have made being nice, kind, and caring a priority. A lot of my time and energy is devoted to thinking about this, so when I saw a badge on someone’s blog that said, “I’m Very Nice | OperationNice.com,” I was intrigued. I abandoned the blog reading to click the badge and stumbled into Operation NICE, the ambitious project blog of Melissa Morris Ivone, a 28-year-old graphic designer in the Philadelphia area.
Melissa is someone who believes in the power of kindness, especially after experiencing an unexpected friendly act on a bad day. “My day was completely turned around by a gentleman who performed the kind gesture of smiling and letting me enter the elevator first,” she recalls. “It was so minor and didn’t require any effort on the man’s part, yet it really brightened my day. So, I started thinking about what a different world we would live in, if only people were more mindful of being polite.” So began Operation NICE in July 2008.
Hoping to encourage people to be intentionally nice, Melissa fashioned ON into a blog that features stories of kindness from readers and around the world, products that promote the concept of kindness, websites with similar missions, and weekly assignments. Each entry is categorized into Nice Stuff, Nice Giveaway, Nice Testimonial, Nice Chit Chat, Nice Sites, and Nice Assignment. Stories range from the boss who paid for his employee’s flight home for her grandfather’s funeral to simple, effortless gestures like an unexpected compliment. The Nice Assignment, in particular, offers readers a weekly challenge to be nice by creating a mantra for the new year, giving flowers, making a gratitude list, paying someone a compliment, and (my favorite) leaving a note in an unexpected place. Also included on the site are Nice Downloads that include gratitude notes and nice signs to help readers spread the niceness.
Entries on the ON blog remind people that niceness counts, a reminder we all need as our society becomes increasingly self-focused and fragmented. Melissa agrees. “I believe our society forces us to live more selfishly than we should. Everything is goal driven. In order to achieve those goals, we need to be focused on our needs. But what about the needs of others?” Though these needs seem minor, kindness, caring, and niceness are essential to human life. Our actions impact others, and why not positively? ON calls to our attention that what we do counts, even in the tiniest of ways.
Though not overtly spiritual, ON echoes the call to love your neighbor and display the fruit of the spirit: kindness, patience, goodness, self-control. Being nice goes hand in hand with common decency and respect for others, whatever your religious beliefs. Melissa tries to limit any mention of religion on ON in order to keep it universal and applicable to all. The Dalai Lama has been quoted as saying, “My religion is kindness,” and for Melissa, “that sums it up.”
Reading back through the ON entries, it’s obvious Melissa isn’t the only one who is embracing niceness. ON has become more than just a blog – it’s a movement. In the past seven months, the number of hits to the ON blog has increased from about 50 visits daily to upwards of 400. People are catching the nice bug and jumping on board. And it thrills Melissa to receive emails that tell her that because of ON they did something nice. “To think that there are people out there who put Operation NICE into effect as they go through their day just blows my mind!” she says. “It’s exactly what I wanted to happen.”
So, what does the future hold for Melissa and ON? She isn’t sure yet. Perhaps she’ll end up with speaking engagements or holding workshops. Or maybe ON will turn into a nonprofit. All Melissa’s sure of is that ON isn’t going away any time soon. ON has changed Melissa’s life, giving her something meaningful and substantial to add to the world. She adds, “I feel like, for the first time, I’m making a difference.”
When she isn’t blogging about being nice, Melissa is busy designing. In addition to her graphic design work, she has a temporarily-on-hiatus craft shop called melissahead designs. Currently, she’s obsessed with Rock Band, Italian wedding soup, and lip gloss.